05 May 2006
LISTEN, HEAR: Strategies to improve communication with staff, employees, partners, etc. Learning how to actively listen and not just preparing for the next thing to say.
When I ran our family business I shudder to think at the small amount of listening that I did in proportion to the amount of telling and ordering that went on. I reckoned I knew everything – so why listen? I was the boss, so I gave the orders. No surprise then that much of what I told people to do and many of my ideas, or rather orders (!) were heard externally but no connection was made internally. Result no implementation.
Then apart from having a “damascan” experience during the process of becoming a coach, I discovered that Galileo (1564-1642) said “you cannot tell anybody anything you can only facilitate their own understanding” .. how true.
Today when coaching and mentoring directors and owners of companies I am often thanked just for listening to them; it’s as though no one really listens to them at all – and they own the business. Heaven help a mere employee.
The challenge for anyone in business is to learn how to really listen to the speaker before making a response - it is too easy to start thinking about what to say next rather than responding appropriately to the speaker – what you end up with is people speaking at each other, rather than to each other, with no real exchange of information.
There seems to be three stages of listening:
Level 1 – listening to our own thoughts whilst the other person is talking. This happens to us all and can be triggered by something that you’ve just heard, seen, remembered or it just floats into your consciousness. You are present but much of what’s being said goes in but makes no connection! Sort of lights are on but no one’s at home.
Level 2 – is when we listen acutely and totally to what’s being said; we’re taking in the tone, speed and volume of what is being said, but we’re also aware of non-verbal messages: body language, colour of skin and breathing. We’re oblivious to anything else that’s going on around us, thus showing complete respect for the speaker and they’ll love it.
Level 3 – this is when we’re aware of unconscious messages - gut feel and intuition - and we’re at the point where our sixth sense is reading what is really going on and what is really being said by the body rather than by the words; we’re in tune with non-verbal communications and we’re able to read between the lines. Ladies are invariably much better at this than men, because society has allowed them to develop their intuition rather than hide it. This is one of the reasons why there should be more women on company boards for their feminine touch, easy-communication, creativity and nurturing perspective.
By following these simple tips you will be able to improve your listening techniques which together with asking rather than telling. This way we can all “Listen Hear” and really empower our teams. You’ll be amazed what you hear when you listen.
William Barron
Creating Insight
May 2006
First 1 Last