As a business coach and mentor working in the Midlands and London, I am constantly helping business owners and directors with their interpersonal communication, the ways they communicate and what the barriers are. People think that just because we talk, we think people hear but unfortunately this is not the case. Communication is of course how we talk to ourselves and with other people. This article talks about the ten different areas involved and how you can improve dramatically the way we communicate.

After reading this tip sheet, you will:

• learn the importance of each barrier to communication and what needs to be done to listen better
• recognise that people don’t hear the same thing that has been spoken as many filters are in place all the time
• understand that we are so much in our own heads that we have little time, energy or emotion left for listening
• realise that due to more and more external chatter from radios, mobiles and traffic, good communication is getting harder and harder
• receive much more information when you communicate effectively

Interpersonal communication

There are many barriers to good communication mainly because every one of us hears, translates what we hear and acts upon the information received in different ways. The challenge for the communicator is to remember this at all times when s/he is communicating (transmitting) the message. This challenge is often bad enough on a one-to-one basis but it is made more difficult when dealing with a crowd of people.

Here are some pointers to help improve your communication:-

Differences in Perception
Each person views the world in different ways based on past experience, age, nationality, culture, education, occupation, sex, status and personality. Individual perception of the world interprets situations in different ways. These differences can often be at the root of many communication difficulties – see also the article on Different Behaviour Spectrums.

Jumping to Conclusions
There are five basic differences to what has been said or written for the person who is transmitting and the person who is receiving the communication: -

• People see or hear what they want to see or hear,
• People see or hear what they expect to see or hear,
• People see or hear what they think they saw or heard
• People see or hear what they actually saw or heard
• People see or hear what their brain tells them they have seen or heard.

This is often in direct contrast to what is written or said. These situations depend upon the amount of listening that the person (the “receiver”) is doing at the time of contact.
Unfortunately we aren’t always listening or seeing with 100% concentration, even though we might think we are. The lack of concentration results in people “jumping to conclusions” based on what they think they saw or heard, or completing the sentence with their own words or thoughts, which can be totally different from what was said or written.
Bearing in mind these well-known documented facts that we all come across continuously, it is often surprising that evidence is believed from even eye witnesses in court trials!

Stereotyping
Most people learn from their own experiences and run the risk of treating different people as if they were the same i.e. if you’ve met one copper/second hand or double glazing salesman/shop steward/doctor/accountant/teacher you’ve met them all. The problem is that in order to get the messages out over and above standard stereotype one first needs to break the mould. Once broken away from the stereotype one can start to get the message out.

Lack of Knowledge
Communication is always difficult if the person “transmitting” the message and the people who are receiving the message have a different knowledge background, some with a lot mixed in with those with a little. The problem therefore is where to start and the communicator needs to be aware of the discrepancies and take them into account. It is really important not to assume the same levels, because even those people who have driving licenses don’t know the Highway Code to the same depth, even though we should all know it equally well!

Lack of Interest
The levels of concentration, which are directly related to the quality of reception of the information, are linked almost exclusively to the level of interest created by the communicator in the subject being discussed. It is very easy to believe that their interest is the same as ours, when undoubtedly it won’t be. They might be there under duress, suffering from being unwell or in low spirits, things that you will never know. It is therefore crucial for the communicator to raise the “bar” and appeal to the person’s curiousity and needs in a way that is interesting.

Different levels of Self-Expression
The ability to express ourselves even on a one-to-one basis is hard enough but even worse on a group basis. This aspect of communication is obviously very important and can be improved by increasing one’s vocabulary with reading and with careful planning of the presentation. It is also necessary to understand the vocabulary level on the side of the audience i.e. do not use long difficult words or long/complex sentences.

Emotions
Emotions can totally change the interaction and the way communication is received. Any strong emotion will result in only the emotion being transmitted with no information. Some emotion is needed like energy, enthusiasm, vitality and commitment, all aspects of a positive attitude but if there are traces of negative energy like anger, depression, frustration, hurt then probably it is better to leave the information giving to another time.

Personality
The personalities of the other people can have a profound effect on the way communication is given and received. One only has to remember school teachers, headmasters, bullies, people in authority and intimidating looks to see people literally shrivel and dry up. So it is really important to either match the personalities present or not be there in the first place.

Location
Some locations are better than others for presentations and communicating to others. Even simple changes to layout of the room, more or even fewer lights, change of temperature, more space to move around in, or less background noise (turning off the distracting air conditioner/loudspeaker) can make a big difference to the way you as the presenter and the receivers feel.

Jargon/Gobbledygook
We have all experienced the person who seems to speak in forked tongues or another language. The worst are the technical/doctors/accountants/computer people of this world, although all sectors of industry and commerce seem to have their own language. Try and keep the jargon out but if it is needed give some translation as you are going along. There is nothing worse that to start off interested and then to gradually switch off, as the words become stranger and stranger. The best thing is to keep it simple and follow the six “C’s”.

Clear - Concise – Courteous – Constructive – Correct – Complete.

© William Barron  Creating Insight